Should we do a first look on our wedding day?

first look on wedding day

Tradition states that the bride and groom should not see each other before the wedding. Emily Post would strongly suggest against them even speaking to each other the day of the wedding. Don’t talk to each other, don’t see each other, not until the bride is walking down the aisle will they see each other.

When I was engaged my fiance and I talked about whether or not we would have a first look on our wedding day. I was unsure about it, after all there was tradition. My fiance was in the same belief that we should stick to tradition. After all, neither of our parents had done a first look, and had done the “vow of silence” and didn’t see or speak to each other before their own weddings.

The day of our wedding, I was running around like crazy, grabbing last minute items, finishing packing, and making sure that everything made it to the venue. Once at the venue it was a whirlwind. My friend/assistant coordinator didn’t show, and I had to run downstairs a few times (instead of getting prepared for my wedding) to ensure that everything was in the right place. Then it was upstairs curling my hair, doing makeup, asking another friend to check on things downstairs. I didn’t have time to think about what was actually happening that day and the fact that I hadn’t gotten to talk to my fiance at all.

Until, It was time for me to walk down the stairs for some last minute pictures and to find my dad.

Cue – nerves.

I remember my hands being shaky, taking deep breaths, and just wanting to see my fiance and hug and kiss him and remember that this day was all about US. Not a production, not tradition, it was about us. I wanted nothing more than to see him and talk to him before I walked down the aisle. NOT because I was having second thoughts, or that I was worried about anything. Only that I wanted this day to be about us and not a production.

And it was then, that I was kicking myself for sticking to “tradition” and not having a first look.

So, was I right in following tradition and making Emily Post proud? . . .
This is just my story, and what I experienced. In our case, we both look back on it now and wish that we would have had a first look and gotten to see each other, talk, kiss, laugh, and be excited together! We were starting the rest of our lives together that day as husband and wife, we wanted to be able to enjoy and be excited together. The day was about us, and who cares what “tradition” states. The bottom line is, it comes down to you two. And only you two can make that decision.

You don’t have to see each other before the wedding, you don’t have to NOT see each other before the wedding. The choice is yours! Just make sure it is something you both discuss with each other and that you’re both happy with your decision, and it won’t be something you regret (whichever way you decide) in the end.

Have you talked about this as a couple? What way are you leaning, or if you have already had your wedding, which way did you decide to go?

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